Man overboard!

Since LosRicos has stepped away from his blog I fear he won't have the opportunity to post this most excellent update so I figured I'd do him the honor.

Pretty much every year the wife and I go canoeing on the grand river it's one of those summer outings we always seem to enjoy. Last year we didn't get to go out due to all the getting married madness so we were happy to get back to the river again. The grand river definitely isn't white water rafting with no noticeable current and an average depth of about 2 feet it's a pretty beginner friendly river. All the same other than the wife and I no one else we went with (3 couples) had much experience canoeing.

After helping the other couples launch the canoes the wife and I quickly caught up with the pack. Approximately 100' from the starting point we hit our first shallow part. Usually the best way to deal with those is to paddle hard and drive straight forward (insert sexual innuendo here.) Well TheRich and Sunflower, being first timers, hadn't experienced cresting the shallows and were caught unawares when they hit the gravel. Unfortunately the weight differential between the two didn't provide the most stability and after an initial wobble they pitched over and ended up in the drink.

It was funny because Rich even mentioned before they set out that they were going to capsize. It's actually the first time I've ever seen it. Either way since it was only about 2-3 feet deep there was no immediate danger. After that (other than one more close call) TheRich and Sunflower kept the pace and avoided any more underwater exploration. The day was fun for sure, we'll have to do it again next year.

By the way if you ever want to know what kind of houses the richest people in KW have just canoe down the grand and look to your left... un-freaking-believable

Maxim hates you! (and me)

Strangely enough I actually ordered a Maxim subscription for my wife for Christmas which might seem like one of the worse gift ideas ever but she actually finds mens magazines entertaining. As a bonus I can read them when she's done and they are usually a good throne-read.

I just finished reading an article about bloggers and vloggers. Apparently Maxim wants us to knock it off. I think "Mouth-breather" and "Basement Dweller" are thrown around in there too. I can definitely see their point about "illaterate teenz wit know concep of gramer" but they do seem to go on quite a tirade. It definitely paints bloggers with pretty broad brush strokes as a uniform, teeming mass of self-important glory hounds.

Personally I'd argue "If you don't like it fuck off." Really if you want to go out there and find the bleating melodramatic douche bags you can easily find them. Either way I think I'll keep blogging on the off chance someone randomly stumbles on my blog and thinks something I say is remotely interesting... or tells me I suck and should die... that's cool too.

Maxim also printed a rollerblader joke so that really got my ire up

Man down!

So unbeknownst to me, in my current haze of work, study and occasional forays into the land of Tamriel we lost one of our bloggers! LosRicos has walked away from his Blogger account with a last word of "Fin". Classy, and succinct but somewhat upsetting. Los Ricos, has been blogging since before I knew what the heck a blog even was. TheRoss and Daejin were assuming I was going that way too because my posts of slowed to virtual standstill. Well don't fear my readers (i.e no one) I'll keep writing inane drivel that you won't see at a more frequent rate than you've seen lately! Once a month! Honest :)

In a side note... I kind of want a job as a Corporate Ninja. My job has been just stupid busy of late and a coworker and I were talking and we thought Corporate Ninja would be much more fun. Jumping out of the rafters and attacking the projector during particularly boring powerpoints would be a good example of a necessary job function. Beats sales anyday!

Office Linebacker would be a good fallback

Golfing ain't good, but it ain't work

When I play golf with customers and co-workers I almost feel more like an undercover agent than a player. Sure I'll speak of "Dog Legs" and "Pitching Wedges" but I'm just not "Feeling it" like the others. I mentioned a while back I got my clubs for free, so I've used them twice! Fortunately, despite the assurances otherwise, I haven't become hopelessly addicted to the game.

There's a nice side effect to not caring though; golf is fucking hard! I never said it was easy before and had no delusions of grandeur in my head, even still I was astonished at how difficult the game is. All the same apparently I'm not horrible which is more than I could have ever hoped for. Today I scored 115 on a particularly brutal 18 hole course called "Crosswinds."

The weird thing is people that had a 5 stroke lead one me (:phht:) felt the need to tell me to watch my follow through, straighten my arm, bend my wrist, do the hokey pokey... etc... Just piss off Tiger, I'm doing okay. Although I don't think the grounds-keeper appreciated me unsodding his fairway or having a beach party in his bunkers.

I showed my appreciation by constantly locking up the brakes on our golf cart... fucker