This isn't the most timely post as this event happened two weeks ago. However, my overwhelming laziness has postponed many of post and will continue to. Regardless, I HAD to post about this. Ideally I'm hoping that if you search La Marquette in google.ca you'll find a link to this blog. Odds are that it's not going to happen... but a boy has to dream.
Winterlicious is a Toronto tourism promotion where oft ridiculously overpriced restaurants offer their dinners up at prices mere mortals can afford. This creates an interesting mix of the common man in the rich man's world. In the past when my Wife and I have gone to Winter/Summerlicious it's an enjoyable time. I'm more of a $5 bowl of Pho man myself but I like to mix it up whenever possible.
This year the Wife's friends decided upon "La Maquette" in Downtown Toronto. Our hostess was friendly, there was a classical guitarist plucking away and the candlelit backdrop smacked of hoity toity class. Our douche bag prick waiter flew to our table and away in a blur that would make the Flash blush as he quickly marked us as poor trash winterlicious customers.
When the rest of our group showed up the Waiter really hit his stride when a simple request (pre-emptive I might add) for separate cheques made him pitch-a-fit indicate that there are "150 other orders that need to be rang through, I do not 'ave de time" in the weakest-assed most authentic of French accenteuse. Then with even more flair he ripped-into told one of our friends, "Do you realize every ti-muh you odor a drink-uh I 'av-uh to walk all de way down de stairsuh to getta de vine!" which surprised us because to that point we told him we weren't ordering drinks yet. After that he rolled his eyes made that disgusting eh-uh noise in the back of his throat like a little bitch consummate professional and sauntered off.
When he took supper orders it was as if he had a gun pointed at your head like a Nazi soldier asking if you are an informant for the British. You realistically had about 5 seconds to choose your appetizer, entree and dessert before he all but pissed his pants kindly prompted you to complete your order. Also being unable to pronounce my appetizer's name made me seem like white trash an inexperienced participant of the culinary arts.
The meal was "Meh" at best. The wafer of Prime Rib had me daydreaming of Golf's Steakhouse. And the cheesecake was good... but when served with asshat-french-wannabe attitude was nothing really more special than your average Williams/Kelsey's fare. At the end the real desert was to see that the pole-smoking-ass-hat waiter had already included a healthy 15% tip already in the bill. So unfortunately my go-fuck-yourself lucky penny tip could no be used.
Would I go to La Maquette again? That depends if they ever legalize assault on the basis of being to much of an asshole to not be smashed directly in the face with a centerpiece reduce their prices to a level to compensate for their horrible service. La Maquette was a horrible dining experience and it just goes to show you, that you don't always get what you pay for. But sometimes, you do get fodder for a really bitter and snarky blog post.
Is chapeau-de-derrier asshat in French?
2 comments:
Grindy, that post was such a giant cornucopia of awesomeness. I thank you for bringing this [house of dictatorship] fine restaurant to our attention. I'm sure that the nest time Peaches and I are in Toronto we will [defecate on their doorstep] stop in to obtain our own view of their [persecution] service.
This comment would have been funnier if blogger allowed the strikeout tag in comments. :(
strikeout is the best too bad i had to rip it off from daejin
Post a Comment