More things I would and wouldn't do with my Tiburon

Okay tomorrow will DEFINITELY be a hockey post so today another car post Why not!

Sunday I talked about 3 potential Tiburon upgrades I've seen around the weeb, so here are three more!

Front bumper aluminum grill: Don't know what it is about the grill effect but I have to say I like it. Unlike the body kits with big plastic mouldings and "ground effects" the addition of the grill adds a visual improvement to the front of the car while not drawing too much attention. I think if you saw it on a Tiburon you'd just assume it belongs there, which doesn't make people in Civics want to "drag" you on the "quarter mile." Which is good and bad. I would like to smoke your Civic.

Turbo Charger: More power! This effectively turns your Sporty Coupe in to a legitimate Sports Car and screams with balls. Not to mention you can tuck it all beneath your hood and have infinite power to destroy almost any vehicle on the road in acceleration. The problem? Other than the $3000 dollar price tag and the divorce there are a few issues with a Turbo charger. Maybe the fact that you'd likely have to change your engine headers, catback, exhaust, intake and clutch and add a torque dampener to even control the additional power at the crank so you don't drive into a orphanage the first time you hit the gas.

Lowering Springs: So you want to really carve those turns? You have to lower your center of gravity. Easiest way to do that is with lowering springs. And good news they don't cost that much? Bad news your ride probably won't be very smooth since you have less of a buffer between the ground and the frame of your car, because a sporty stance requires stiff suspension. Really the killer for me is when you have to take the long way around at the mall because you don't have the clearance to drive over a speed bump. The Tiburon is already startlingly low to the ground and I have a strict "Speedbumps be damned" policy that would not work with this.

I would've wrote longer but I have to poo

What would I do and not do to my car?

Okay most of the young guys I know are already harassing me about "Tuning" my car. Am I going to tune my car? Hells no, she's under warranty. But if my wife can talk about 400 dollar dresses I can talk about performance upgrades. So lets talk Tiburon Upgrades! I might do this on and off and it gets a little meaty so lets limit it to three upgrades a post :)

Cold-Air Intake: The cold air intake is a pretty simple modification. Stock air intake pulls air into the fuel mix through a series of filters. More filtering equals more constriction of air flow. Taking colder air into the fuel mix also tricks your car into adding more fuel into the mix. More power, no obvious rice-boy look and you can pick one up for under 100 bucks. All good.

Angel Eyes: On one hand, it looks pretty cool. The inner coil of LED lights sits inside your regular headlights and your running lights now look like some cool glowy eyes. Sure it looks nice but A) It's expensive as hell ($480.00) and B) You're screaming rice-boy. A little too showy for the near-30 white boy in the sports coupe.




Racing Cat-back and Exhaust: Like a Cold-Air intake, higher flow is your friend and constriction takes away your power. However in regards to your exhaust less constrictive airflow means your normally quiet exhaust sounds a little more like a kazoo. The "Fart Can" effect. It generally amplifies your car's engine sounds. So on a 4 Cylinder Civic it sounds weak. On a V6 engine it might have a more-powerful rumble. Still Ghey as all heck! This is practically like an all-access pass to ricedom.

Of course even if it's a cool upgrade no vehicle upgrade would ever meet wife approval anyway :p

Our New Car

Man when it comes time to buying a car I think you could easily go cross-eyed with options and opinions. You read Consumer Reports and they say, "It's horrible!" look at the Lemonaid Guide and they say it's "Above Average." Talk to your friends and they steer you one way, talk to your parents and... screw that, don't talk to your parents.

Regardless buying a car is not an easy process. After the various issues I've had over the last few weeks with my car, and with warmer weather right around the corner I was getting the itch to purchase. I scoured The Autotrader for weeks, test drove some cars, did a boat load of research and finally bit the bullet this Tuesday. Anyway long story short the new car is a 2003 Hyundai Tiburon GT with only 36000 KMs. It's got 17" Rims, All Leather seats and a V6 engine. It's basically a fun to drive cheap sports coupe. I've been wanting one ever since the new body design in 2003 and I'm happy to finally have one.

Now I just need to figure out that whole driving a standard thing :(

Congratulations on your Mid-Life Crisis but could you get the fuck out of my way?

I saw one today like I see them every day of the year. They come out a lot more frequently in the summer, drawn by the lure of warm breezes blowing through their graying hair, toupees and comb-overs. Elvis Presley pounding from the stereo, leather driving gloves wrapped at 10 and 2. One foot on the brake and one toe on the gas.

I understand as you get older your priorities shift and your pace of life slows down. You no longer have the frenzied “gotta get there” urgency of Youth. All the same if you could get your 350 Horsepower engine to get you up to the speed limit that’d be just f***ing special. I get that you’ve finally hit that stage of life when you can afford that race car you dreamed of as a teen. So you go out and you buy your Corvette, or Benz or your Porsche and drive around for everyone to see the cool new thing you bought.

Thing is, you’re no longer that spunky out-of-control teenager you're wiser, more responsible and constipated with regards to velocity.

All these things are fine. I mean sure it pains me to no end to blow by someone driving a Viper at 40 K/h in a 60 zone in my 83 HP Hyundai Accent but those are the breaks. However, if you get in the passing lane on the 401 doing 110 K/h you’re pissing me off. I got places to be, things to do and because you can afford the time to have yourself a leisurely drive during rush hour on a Monday doesn’t mean I can. If you want to drive like a myopic old woman go do it on your own damn time.

If it seems like I’m trying to cover up the fact that I’m jealous of these baby-boomers I'm not. I’ll admit that I’d love to have that much power in my control. Fortunately we’ve about 75% of our money put away for our next vehicle, which at 171HP is not going to smoke any Porsche Carerras, but it’ll definitely help me blow past all those baby boomers day-dreaming of glory days gone by. But I'll be doing it in the right lane with one hand at 12 o’clock and the other one flipping the bird.

I'll stop being so angry if you stop being so annoying

Zoom Zoom

I've never had a nice car. By "nice car" I don't mean a Beamer or Benz

(I’m not an asshole enough of a driver to drive one of those.) My current vehicle is a 1998 Hyundai Accent. While a trustworthy low-maintenance vehicle it doesn’t scream "Fun to drive." At ~90HP the Accent often leaves me in the situation of getting cut off by soccer Moms and punk teens in Civics at a regular basis. This is not fun!

What would be fun is a car with a V6 and 171 HP. After much research and pricing I've more or less decided on the Hyundai Tiburon. Based on the reliable Elantra platform (praised by the Lemonaid Guide to Cars) the Tiburon is one of the rare sports coupes in today's SUV/Hybrid saturated car market. Also since its resale sucks, a low Kilometer 2003 Tiburon can be had for $14,000.00 Canadian or less. So I'm hoping if the Wife and I have holed away enough money come Spring/Summer this will be my next vehicle.

OOoooh or maybe I should just rice-out my Accent. On second thought, nevermind.

Drivers are rude. Such attitudes...