It’s a retard thing you just wouldn’t understand

Post #7

You can tell a lot by the car a person drives. Odds are if it’s a 40 foot long Buick it’s going to be blue-haired grandma, a lowered civic with a muffler that sounds like a kazoo? Teenaged whiteboy with racial confusion issues, or Asian ricer. These profiles are never 100% correct but they definitely work as a good baseline. From soccer mom’s, to balding men in midlife crises different vehicles naturally draw different personality types. And assholes are natural drawn to the jeep.

I don’t know if it all spawned from the typical testosterone-soaked military attitude but since it’s inception as a commercial vehicle the Jeep has drawn a unique audience. If you look for them closely you’ll start to see them. Like that asshole that parks halfway up a snow bank at the mall during Christmas cause they don’t want to drive around for the extra 5 minutes to find a parking spot. The dood with the 60” mud-runner tires that’s blocking any view of the highway ahead of him, mullet flowing in the breeze and whitesnake blaring. Or like I witnessed today when a Jeep driver pulled out onto the shoulder, drove across the no-man’s land between an on-ramp and the high way only to cut back into the flow of traffic cutting off all the people obeying traffic laws and waiting for the traffic jam to clear.

They’re pretty easy to spot when you see their mission statement. A big annoying bumper sticker that says, “It’s a Jeep thing you wouldn’t understand.” I’d like to get a bumper sticker that said, “Jeep owners, we understand, you’re a bunch of assholes.”

Disclaimer: If you are a Jeep owner and are not a huge asshole please disregard this post and its contents. But odds are you are. Aren't you? Fess up asshole!